Women subconsciously invent fake problems like this when they are no longer feeling attraction. There is one thing about being the emotional support of an SO to better the relationship, but there is another thing about being the emotional punching bag to satisfy your SO's personal issues. What the hell is support in a girl's eyes? your girlfriend really is very very emotional. The only people who knew they'd come home were her mom and her best friend (Arianne, 26). If you had said "disappointed" that would not have surprised me at all. And why are going on a random walk in the middle of her birthday party? What would she need to do to prove she's "emotional" about you - worship the ground you walk on? If you have certain needs that aren't being met, you need to articulate those needs in a calm way where you're not accusing her of anything. Parties are for socializing, not private moments away from all the people you're supposed to be celebrating with. It's just incredibly frustrating when she's trying to vent to me through fucking text messages. Some context incase in case it matters. I (23M) have been dating my girlfriend (22F) for just over a year now. So the walk ended up not happening. MERCH HAS OFFICIALLY DROPPED!! I wanted to be happy for her but I wasn't. To let you in a little bit. Red Pill Discussion for personalized questions about specific situations. Me asking why she had never been invested in our relationship, and that her dad and bro came home and she was clearly ecstatic so why the hell had she never had such a reaction to anything in our relationship. It doesn't sound like you're in a long distance relationship, so she likely realized she has plenty of time to see you at other times. Besides being shocked, has she responded? Were you wanting her to give a big speech professing her gratitude to you for helping to plan a party? I don't know why I've been so mad lately, but it feels like my girlfriend has never had an emotional interest in our relationship. Finally she comes over, like she always said she was going to once she finished up with work, but somehow I hadn't been doing a good enough job of helping her when she was having a "stress breakdown". Seeing her break down over her dad and bro made me feel bad because she's never had any such reaction to anything in our relationship. I think I'm providing enough "support", but it seems like it's never enough for her. She might not be cuddly but does she spend time with you or do things for you and support you? I was fine with it, it didn't matter to me. She's just too clingy and I feel like she expects too much out of me. What did you hope to accomplish by calling her out on her excitement at seeing her family? TL;DR gfs dad and brother came home for her birthday after both being away for a long time, she broke down and was crying and spent most of the evening with them, I got angry because she'd never been that emotional in our relationship and it made me feel she didn't care. What the fuck? Honestly I’m not sure what’s triggered this behaviour with my dad, he’s very supportive of my brother and his girlfriend so this is very strange behaviour. And you expressed it. My girlfriend, 25, has a beautiful five-year-old daughter, who I adore, and a job, but is restricted due to being a single mother. Or did you just want to make her feel guilty for not giving you her undivided attention, dragging her down to your level since you weren't happy? It's her dad and brother who she hasn't seen in forever... of course she's going to want to spend time with them and not go for a walk with you. Sometimes I feel like she isn't really emotional/into me at all, I know this isn't true and she's just not an overly cuddly, fuzzy type. So, typically less-visibly emotional female here, and I have to say I think you're in the wrong on this one, OP. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. You mention in comments that she has shown her love to you in other ways (making lunches, buying tickets to Comic Con for you, generally being supportive). She knew something was up and when she asked me I was hesitant to tell her what it was. Just stupid bullshit. As far as being angry over not getting to do what you wanted at her party, that's on you to resolve in yourself. No offense but you've only been dating for 2 years, her dad and brother have been around her entire life. Even the scene in I Am Legend where the dog turned got me. There are some cases (approximately 5%) where it’s not about breaking up (e.g. I'm the more emotional one of the two, so this can be annoying at times but I do see it's better to do what she does rather than the two of us just blowing up at each other and maybe saying something we'll regret. You should talk with her and apologize for getting mad and express what you were feeling. Is there any reading I can absorb to help me with this issue? I am in a very similar situation. I think it's possible that she has held back from you emotionally, and it's also possible that she really is emotionally invested, she just never shows you because she's typically so reserved. Handle it like this as i did. he's said stupid shit to me before like "if it wasn't for my money these hoes wouldn't give me the time of day, I'm just an average dude". She's probably going to have more deep seated emotions towards her family members who she hasn't seen in a while. The site may not work properly if you don't, If you do not update your browser, we suggest you visit, Press J to jump to the feed. Don't waste your time if you don't want to be that committed to her though. Were you expecting her to grovel at your feet for forgiveness, attach herself to you and ignore them the rest of the night? I'm fine with being the "rock", but it seems like there's some sort of manufactured drama every few days that requires me to drop everything in order to listen to her cry or go on and on about some trivial bullshit. Identify your emotions carefully and specifically. The reason I say I think she depends on me too much is because she gets really upset every time I leave, and any time we spend more than 24 hours apart from each other she gets really cranky. You are in same situation in which i was. That's likely her default way of showing emotion. I start getting tired and I told her that I was going to bed. I think you did exactly the right thing. I saw my girlfriend getting oral sex from her dog. This was a little surprising to read. I was at my apartment hanging out. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. But if that leaves you feeling like she isn't invested, then maybe she needs to show you her emotions more. She is my first serious relationship, and honestly, I think our relationship is pretty close to perfect. Seeing her break down over her dad and bro made me feel bad because she's never had any such reaction to anything in our relationship. Just sit and listen to her complaints, actually listen to them so you can give her advice (what you would do in the same situation). My Girlfriend Flirts With Other Guys: 5 Reasons Why She Might Be … Yesterday she stayed at work really late trying to get something done. I need to learn the difference between shit tests and comfort tests, because I get both. What now? She gets jealous of my friends when I hang out with them, and basically any time we are not together I am constantly being flooded by "I miss you" texts. She was laughing!! Oh man….! I do care about her, but it's getting ridiculous. I need you to answer yes or no to the following questions. "According to my wife, I have the emotional range of a rock. Looks like you're using new Reddit on an old browser. That doesn't mean she feels any less about you than other relationships where she displays more emotion. he's not a multimillionaire, he makes 60k. For an optimal experience visit our site on another browser. I show a ton of emotion towards my dog, but that doesn't mean I love her more than my SO. You can talk to her about this and state how you don't blame her for her emotional outburst, but that it made you feel less important to her and ask that she consider making more of an effort towards displaying her emotions towards you, but this is a core part of her personality. My boyfriend is my family and if my dad is honestly going to make me choose it’s a no brainer for me. However, it was still wrong for you to get mad at her for being happy. Hope your day is great but better watching being mean to m best friend to see how she reacts prank emotional. In my case this stemmed from low self esteem: I didn't see myself as equal to others, really. It sounds like your girlfriend handles romantic relationships differently from how she handles family relationships. We argued, I kind of feel like a dick but know my concerns were still valid even if I voiced em the wrong way. And you obviously care about her very much. There has to be something if you're still together. Emotional guys want emotional gals, its all about compatibility and you want back what you give. You also need to expect that if she's seeing people for the first time in a long time, you're going to fall to the backburner a little bit. I just feel like she'd never had any kind of super emotional response in our relationship and it annoyed me. Just because she was surprised and moved to tears with her family doesn't mean she doesn't care for you. Cookies help us deliver our Services. I mean, seriously; what so you want from her? She was pretty shocked and I immediately regretted it, I kinda knew it was the wrong thing to say but felt I had to voice my concerns that she didn't care for us. She is coming to you because she values your opinion and wants you to help her solve her problems. This wasn't you messing up. My girlfriend is too emotionally dependent on me. I know doing this sucks, but it's part of your job in an LTR. Eventually I did but by this point I'd been kind of passive aggressive so it just came out badly. This was you feeling hurt about something, and if you were a little mad or mean while you were figuring that out, it was pretty minimal. Thanks reddit, you all made me see the bullet in time for me to avoid getting more damaged (: 1.4k. CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE: https://rissandquanmerch.com/We want to thank you all for your continuous support. I'm aware I'm going to be seen as the bad guy in all this. Being clingy, taking things personally, reading too much into stuff people say, being too emotional are all effects of that cause (at least, for me they were). Imagine you’re writing a report on your emotions and you need to be as detailed as possible. It's understandable if you feel insecure about her feelings towards you. As you can see from the statistics above, women have a lot more “ When I tried to talk to her that she is too emotional, she felt like I hurt her feelings :S Soon she started crying every time when we go out to have … It's fucking dumb. Here's an example. I have no idea why some people are emotionless, or not emotional enough (or far too emotional … To fix things, you need to stop appeasing her complaints and up your amused mastery. Shalom bbys it’s Piper Rockelle! This only happened last week, after all. You're pretty immature for 26, getting jealous of her time spent with her family whom she hasn't seen in years. If your SO is anything like me, surprise was a big key here in her emotional reaction. That's deal breaker behavior. You've been with her long enough to know how she demonstrates her love for you. Anyway, they showed up at the get together we were having at her place, some of our friends, some of my friends (but mainly hers) a number of co workers & some old friends, high school/college. Sometimes. I have this friend that cries a lot also. All in all she comes to you for help, and if you want to help her then do so. I have a very emotionally needy LTR myself. Their logical mind won't allow them to admit they are just not attracted anymore, so they create something wrong that the guy is doing to explain their unhappiness. Press question mark to learn the rest of the keyboard shortcuts. I've been dating my girlfriend, "Jessica" for almost a year now. What works for me is to not let her emotions change mine, this is most important. Alyssa and I have dated for 2 and a half years and in all that time, she has never been an emotional person. Emotional cheating damages the relationship because it is about “connection” a IE 11 is not supported. It's understandable if you feel jealous she's never shown that kind of emotion to you. It registers to the hamster as "something feels wrong". I am an expert at handling situations like this, having studied neurosciences, psychology, philosophy etc. For the first time ever I literally saw my gf break down crying, she was really happy because she had no clue she'd see her dad or her little brother for her birthday. My girlfriend is too emotionally dependent on me. Close • Posted by just now. “I broke up with my girlfriend but do I really want her back?” This dumpers regret test will show us if you REALLY regret breaking up! She was going to come over when she was done working. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast, More posts from the relationships community. When you say, “My girlfriend won’t open up to me, ... Women are instinctively attracted to the emotional strength in men and repelled by weakness. Being too protective of her or suspicious about what she is thinking, feeling or doing when he isn’t around. However, any sort of dog related sadness gets me every damn time. I think I provide enough support. By using our Services or clicking I agree, you agree to our use of cookies. But don't blame her for a reaction she couldn't control, and don't compare her love for her family with her love for you. he already has a trash baby mom who fucked another guy while they were broken up for a few months and had a kid by him. The real question is, what does she do with you to make you feel loved? Should she cry with happiness every time she sees you (4x a week)? What could she have done differently that would have made you happy? Anyway, her birthday was last week, her dad who has been away for work for a year and a half and her brother (23) who has been deployed overseas for almost 2 and a half years, he hasn't been back in nearly 2 and a half years or something like that. As it got later she said she might not come over. How bad did I mess up and what can I do to fix this? It's not that you aren't providing enough support, it's that you are no longer generating enough attraction. What can I do over text message to help? The same thing happned to me 3 months ago...i was devastated, i was literally lying on the floor in front of her on the street and crying in public. We stopped being friends after he got mad at me and another friend during separate times for not inviting him to a family event/vacation because he felt left out and that we loved our parents more than he loved his. It somehow turns into me not being there for her when she's stressed, I don't want to see her, etc. She spent a large chunk of the evening with her dad and brother including some time I wanted to go for a walk with her, away from the party, just the two of us. It was the first time I'd met her dad or brother. People show affection in different ways. Yeah, you are a huge dick and she should probably break up with you. Do I really need to hold her hand through life 24/7? /r/Relationships is a community built around helping people and the goal of providing a platform for interpersonal relationship advice between redditors. While Americans may claim to believe in equality between the sexes, the advice-seekers on If this was a constant pattern of her ignoring you when she's around her family, that would be different, but it's not. That's fine. Before you can work through negative emotions, you need to identify them. This is obviously not something intentional on her part. She probably needs you to teach her how to keep her cool and get her point across to people that upset her. His comments remind me of a friend I had who was about to jump into a running train because he saw his girlfriend at a coffee shop studying for finals with her classmates. and I have been through a lot of trauma and hard knocks in my life. She's not seen her family in a long time and cried because she was so happy to finally see them and you really feel that you have a right to be mad at her for it? We seek posts from users who have specific and personal relationship quandaries that other redditors can help them try to solve. Can you give an example of such an event? This is a very difficult challenge for me. This happens all of the time. You shouldn’t only think about type of One of the most definitive patterns that will help you determine when to break up with your Needless to say I was angry. Press J to jump to the feed. It is not at all unreasonable that she would want to spend as much time as possible with her father and brother given the situation. ‘Yes’ answers indicate that you really do want this woman back as your partner, while ‘no’ answers show that either it’s still uncertain, or that actually, you don’t truly want her back. If you have found yourself in the unfortunate situation where you’re saying, “My girlfriend wants to take a break” there’s about a 95% chance (based on all my experience helping guys to get women back) that she is simply trying to break up with you. My cousin: he is in his early 30s, and a bonafide simp that doesn't want to accept it. I know it was bad but I couldn't help it. I suspect a number of us at the party who haven't known Alyssa as long were surprised. I don't know why I've been so mad lately, but it feels like my girlfriend has never had an emotional interest in our relationship. Then you mentioned you've been "so mad lately" over her not showing much emotional investment in your relationship. When we argue (which isn't often) she is the type to not let emotions get the best of her, she'll leave me hanging for a few hours, compose her thoughts and come back a few hours later and talk about whatever issue was up in a rational manner. That doesn't mean she values your relationship less.